drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
