stop calling my apartment porn island.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
