Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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