I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
