You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
