so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize