last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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