A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
