i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Come on in and take your pants off
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
