that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
