dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
