Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what day is it and did you see me today?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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