miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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