good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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