i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
