Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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