Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
