Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
