He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The air was thick with penises
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
