You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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