Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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