I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
