how can u be prego again
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
