That's when you crack a 10am beer
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
