Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
not ubering you a puppy
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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