My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
