Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
