i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
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Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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