when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
