when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize