Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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