KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize