I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Blood and glitter go together right?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
