You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
