Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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