Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
