How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize