I got chris browned last night
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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