I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize