i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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