But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
4 words: hood of his car
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As shirtless as possible
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
