At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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