Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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