If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
