so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize