she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
