You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
