Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
