Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
