Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
