Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
