Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
