no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
