I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
