Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize