Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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