i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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