i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
