Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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