I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
