I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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