How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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