im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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