i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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