so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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