He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
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Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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